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  • Writer's pictureSarah Robinson

Discover your love language in two easy steps & open your heart to deeper connection

Dear Friend,

...Love is central to connecting & finding joy & meaning in our relationships. Broader than intimacy, love encompasses unconditionally showing kindness & expressing compassion towards our fellow beings.

Each of us is interconnected with every living being in our Universe – human, animal, plant.

Showing kindness & compassion in a way which resonates with another being provides an opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level. And we feel this more profoundly if we are sharing from a place where we fully love ourselves.

Each of us communicates love in a different way & each of us has a way we like to receive love. I invite you to take a moment to consider how you prefer to be loved. How do others in your support circle(s) prefer to receive love? How would your life improve if you could communicate how you like to receive love with those you care about; & equally giving/sharing love with your nearest & dearest in a way that matches their love needs?

Perhaps you prefer to receive encouragement, while someone else may appreciate you taking the time to listen to what they have to say. Others may value receiving a small gift in appreciation, or being surprised by someone offering assistance out of the blue. Understanding how others wish to receive love can only help to strengthen your relationship, leading to more positive interactions of greater significance for you & with those who mean the most to you.

Author Gary Chapman has identified five love languages: “Words of Affirmation”; “Quality Time”; “Receiving Gifts”; “Acts of Service”; & “Physical Touch”.

Find out what your primary & secondary love language is & encourage your friends, family, & colleagues to do the same. It may be a surprise to find out what your/their primary & secondary love language is, & ways you can strengthen your communication & relationships through better understanding each other.

One simple act of kindness received positively, raises the energy vibration & resonates throughout the world.

Take the Love Language Quiz

Discover how you like to receive love in two easy steps by taking the quiz below.

For each pair of statements, select the option which best reflects your preferences.

I like to receive notes of affirmation. (A)

I like to be hugged. (D)

I like to spend one-to-one time with a person who is special to me. (B)

I feel loved when someone gives practical help to me. (D)

I like it when people give me gifts. (C)

I like leisurely visits with friends & loved ones. (B)

I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their arm around me. (E)

I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I love or admire. (C)

I like to go places with friends & loved ones. (B)

I like to high-five or hold hands with people who are special to me. (E)

I like to be told I am appreciated. (A)

I like for a person to look at me when we are talking. (B)

I like when people give me cards, flowers, or other small tokens. (C)

I feel loved when people affirm me. (A)

Words of acceptance are important to me. (A)

I know someone loves me when they help me. (D)

What someone does affects me more than he or she says. (D)

Hugs make me feel connected & valued. (E)

Would you help cook dinner? (D)

I like going to fun places with people. (B)

I’ve got a surprise for you. (C)

We can make something really cool together. (D)

How did you know how to do that? You’re brilliant. (A)

I can’t wait to give you your present. (C)

Would you like for me to scratch your back? (E)

Let’s spend the day doing whatever you want to do. (B)

I feel loved when people do things to help me (D)

I feel loved when people give me a reassuring handshake or hug. (E)

I value praise & try to avoid criticism. (A)

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift. (C)

I need physical contact with people every day. (E)

I need words of encouragement & affirmation every day. (A)

I know a person is thinking of me when they give me a gift. (C)

I feel loved when a person helps me with my chores. (D)

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention. (B)

I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act to serve me. (D)

I like for people to cross the street to shake hands or hug when they see me. (E)

I like when people listen to me, showing genuine interest in what I’m saying. (B)

I feel loved when someone celebrates my birthday with a gift. (C)

I feel loved when someone celebrates my birthday with meaningful words. (A)

Tally your Love Language Quiz responses

Go through your quiz responses & count up how many (A), (B), (C), (D), (E) you selected. The letter with the highest score is your primary love language. The second highest score reveals your secondary love language.

(A) = Words of Affirmation

You prefer to be acknowledged through the written or spoken word. Receiving encouragement, having someone express their appreciation with a card or in person, feeling you’re being listened to & someone is genuinely taking an interest in you fulfils your love language needs.

(B) = Quality Time

You appreciate receiving someone’s focused attention & enjoy one-to-one interactions. Creating special moments for sharing meaningful conversations about your passions & interests speaks to your love language wishes.

(C) = Receiving Gifts

You enjoy receiving surprise gifts which are meaningful & show the giver is thoughtfully considering your interests when expressing their gratitude. The gift’s value is not important. It’s the fact they have thoughtfully selected something which holds meaning for you which brings joy & a warm glow into your heart.

(D) = Acts of Service

You value action rather than words. Someone going out of their way to do something unexpected for you; or a thoughtful, random gesture of selflessly offering you assistance - perhaps before you’re even aware you are in need of extra support - speaks to your love language.

(E) = Physical Touch

You value thoughtful physical intimacy, affection & reading body language. This may include a reassuring hand on the shoulder, feeling loved, valued & wanted, the security the loving embrace of a hug provides, holding hands, or receiving a relaxing massage.

Thank you for taking the Love Language Quiz!

If you feel called, I invite you to share in the comments below whether you were surprised by your results after taking this Love Language Quiz. If you’re already incorporating what you learned from the Quiz results into your day-to-day, is this having a positive impact on your relationships with your friends, family, & colleagues?

I greatly appreciate Amit Sihra, Lineage Coordinator & Area Representative, UK Reiki Federation for originally sharing his Discover Your Love Language Webinar with UK Reiki Federation Members.

Further reading:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary Chapman ISBN 9780802412706. Other Love Language Quizzes & information is offered on the Gary Chapman website.

Warm wishes

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